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Name: dandilion <3
Interests: i have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you should would say "say when." my aunt would say "say when" and of course, we never did. we don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. more tequila, more love, more anything. more is better.
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Member Since:
8/6/2004
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| ah sunday again. it's like 90 degrees out today and it's positively stellar. im very burned.
one more week of class, one week of finals and it's finito.
one week home, two weeks in philly, and back here in order to salvage what is left of the summer.
even though i'm really going to miss my family and a handful of good friends in hersh, i'm so fucking glad i don't have to live there. those who aren't dick know who they are, but honestly, hershey was such a bitch. everyone is so fucking mean and selfish, really. my friends here are genuine and i appreciate that.
so yeah. just something i was thinking about yesterday.
dan nelson i know you're going to read this - you effin rule man.
you+me+moni=chilling this summer and jammin out in my sweet studio haha | | |
| well well, look at the pattern - it's sunday again.
i just deleted my facebook because i'm sick of people tagging these sweet ass pictures of me. like seriously, haha, i'm fully aware it's on me how inebriated i become, but it's really not the nicest thing to take like 300 pictures of it and paste it on facebook. fuck that shit.
i think this might end up being an extremely angry blog vent, but only because i know no one will read it. (except for you eva, because you're awesome and you rule and we totally need to catch up because your text the other day brightened my day.)
so i hurt my ankle dancing on the stairs on friday, goooo me. i'm on crutches til monday, but there's absolutely no way in hell that i'm crutching to class. or anywhere for that matter. i have like a million assignments due in the next couple weeks, so it's almost a blessing that i'm on crutches - i mean, why the heck else would i be up at 7:30am on a sunday, right? i have the whole day to work on my stuff! so i'm currently uploading microsoft word/works since my computer crashed on friday.
yeah this weekend hasn't been the best. it was like.. passout thursday night, come home friday to a crashed computer and then get bitched at during work, then pay 400 dollars for my computer + lost everything, fell on the stairs and then lost my phone. it's okay - kate o'neill saved my ass this weekend. as did chris boschi and john mitchell on friday night, and kyle, for trying to make me not die in the morning time.. it was bleak :)
well word is pretty much uploaded. time to get person with some identity reflection.
oh ps - i'm absolutely obsessed with bad religion this week. greg graffin is my effing hero. | | |
| I think that Sunday's really suck once you're in college. There isn't really one good thing I can say about them, except adultswim at night, which I'll be missing thanks to this sweet exam I haven't started studying for tomorrow. They're just hopeless and dingy.
I didn't do anything last night. Actually, I got really really baked and jacked up on things and then decided, before I did anything terribly ridiculous, I should just go home. Why put yourself in a bad situation if you have the sense not to do so, right? Right.
So instead I watched stupid sitcoms and ate rice and tofu all night and slept until now. And today will consist of studying, doing an illustrator project, and writing an article that I have no idea how to execute. Yes, I love college. Actually, that's why I'd really like to take a semester off from school. I mean, at what other age will I have the freedom to just work and explore the world for a few months without too many "grown-up" worries? Unfortunately, because my parents are financing my education, I have to stick it out. Oh, and it's not called being a push over, it's called respecting the family that's providing this opportunity for me, okay? I know some people aren't very clear on that. That's too bad.
I'm in a terrible, terrible mood.
I miss true friends. I'm really stupid for throwing that away.. psh. Looking back to the beginning of high school, I really did have some genuine friends. They would have done anything for me at anytime. I think I took that for granted and then got totally screwed. I also think I'm bi-polar, because I'm ridiculous for thinking these thoughts right now.
Why is it that people have to make such a big deal out of people hooking up/making out/choosing to do whatever they want to do? Riddle me that. People need to be more about the moment - if you feel like kissing that person at that time, what business is it of anyone else? Kissing is not sex. Sex is not that big of a deal. So kissing is like not even a blip on a radar. So grow up, stop talking about people because you're jealous and you have absolutely no excitement in your life. I don't care if you want to be funny - there are plenty of things I think are absolutely hilarious, but that doesn't always include laughing at other peoples expense. From being the center of this deplorable humor, trust me, it's not the greatest feeling.
I apologize for such a spiteful blog.. I know it's been eons since anyone has even used this really, so I doubt anyone will have the curse of reading this anyway, it's just nice to get it out of my head. There's too much in there lately, haha.
I've procrastinated enough.
Time to go study.
{edit 2:50pm}
I think that this whole unmotivated phase is in direct correlation with the my interest in life (or lack of) in general. I think that after that whole dating fiasco in the Fall really threw me off balance. I can't seem to get a grasp on the concept that college in the only transition left for me before the real world. This is my preparation for life and I'm pretty much throwing it away right now with this attitude I'm holding against studying and doing my assignments/going to classes.
So how do I fix this? Do I take the idea of a semester-off more seriously? Or would that keep me back even further in this funk. I can't get my mind off of this past year.. I don't want to go back to that - by any means - I'm completely smarter than that. But I can't stop feeling so hurt and completely fucked.
I hate where I am, I hate who lives with me, and I hate the idea of me being such a waste of space. I hate that I can't change any of this because I'm stuck because of what one person said. That's fuckin retarded.
I'm retarded.
:)
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the moment has come to face the truth
i'm wide awake, and so are you
do you have a clue what this is?
are you e v e r y t h i n g that i miss?
we'll just have to wait and see
if things go right we're meant to be
the surface is gone, we scratched it off
we made some plans, and let them go
do you have the slightest idea
why the world is bright with you here?
stay a while and wait and see
if things go right we're meant to be
oh, what a world this life would be
forget all your technicolour dreams
forget modern nature
this is how it´s meant to be | | |
| ummm pretty much me and d nel are bringin' xanga back!
jealous much?
good, you should be.
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